When In Doubt Leave It Out

Jacobowitz, Marc DWT PhotoToday some of our Hospice sponsored Spousal Bereavement Group attended our second ecumenical Circle of Healing and Eucharist. For those who are not baptized Christian, there is a blessing with holy oil, also offered to those who choose to take communion.

The heart of the gathering, however, is a sharing of our mutual concerns.

I have attended the eucharist before I found this wonderful bereavement group. Always there is the prayer for my late husband’s soul, for my ability to cope with his loss and future without my best friend and for sundry friends and acquaintances who are dealing with varying degrees of pain in health, interpersonal, economic and bereavement issues.
Now, however, I feel a laser-like focus  in my prayers.

Our group was led by a marvelous Hospice counselor, also a Christian priest, who imbued a sense of shared purpose into each of us. In this, my second bereavement group in 2 1/2 years, there are 8 women and 1 man ranging in age from 26 to the early 80’s. We are starting to go to lunch, dinner, movies, other supportive lectures and this Healing Service together as well as keep in touch via email, which is especially gratifying during holidays. Our shared mission is to come to terms with the terrible loss which has afflicted each of us.

Every one of us has a different coping method; mine has evolved into inordinately volunteering. Hence the title of this piece. What will genuinely help each of us needs time to germinate within. By filling our time by diving into unknown territories, we might find exciting new worlds to explore. Or we might exhaust and “humbleize,” a word coined by a former tennis partner of mine, ourselves. Moderation and reasoned choices are our best plans.

Let us breathe deeply and see what works, looking from afar.

I dedicate this blog to my beloved late husband, Marc Erwin Jacobowitz, who was born on this day in 1958.

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