Keep Doing These Five Things …

headshotAfter laughing out loud at My Face Is Up To (I Mean, Down To), No Good, Susan McCorkindale’s hysterical treatise on facial aging, I decided to check out her other writings.

In her New Year‘s blog in The Huffington Post, she describes her response to a request for guidance on dealing with death after losing her husband to pancreatic cancer. McCorkindale made up a list of 5 “dos” to live by which she recommits to yearly. She shares these and a do-over “because really, everyone deserves at least one do-over!), now, at the start of 2013, only with the hope of giving hope and helping someone else find the courage and strength to believe that, while life as they know it is over, the road they’re embarking on can be beautiful, hopeful and happy. Life can still be filled with sunny days, love and yes, laughter.”

I can really relate to her love of laughter and the need to find beauty, meaning, purpose and loads of friendship going foward after the death of my spouse, my best friend, Marc. This is for all of us in the same boat; for those who are alone due to divorce as well. Reinventing ourselves is hard work. I have been blessed to reconnect with three best friends from high school and others from different times in my life. As well, I’ve found very supportive, new friends in my Spousal Bereavement Support Group.

The laughter part has always been big for me, but not so terribly much in the last 2 1/2 years. It is returning as friendships blossom and movie dates keep appearing. Going out for coffee or dinner to discuss a film is one of my greatest pleasures lately. Also, making big blocks of time to have a heart-to-heart chat with a real friend is hugely salubrious for me.

So, enjoy the positive, wonderful 5 “do’s” here after this sample:

Listen. The little voice telling you to buy the shoes and the bag, get the Goth black manicure and learn to ride a horse? That’s the one to listen to. You can always take the shoes and the bag back, the polish will last ten days, tops, and as long as the little voice isn’t suggesting your ride bareback ….”

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