Why Long-Term Marriages Can Be So Powerful

Portrait of a happy middle aged couple in bed together“Research shows that the divorce rate among adults aged 50 and older doubled between 1990 and 2010.” The HuffPost’s Post50 has done it again. They’ve served up a compendium of bloggers’ common sense thoughts on enduring marriages which I found very moving. As a widow whose marriage was very, very happy, I smiled, cried a little and wished the same joy for my adult children while I perused the article.

The list runs the gamut of thoughts such as not being frantic or worrying overly about looks to feeling open about communicating your needs and feelings to your partner. For example, “we tell each other everything, whether it’s good or bad. We never hide anything from each other — ever — and can openly discuss any subject without fear of being judged. We made a pact to do that from the beginning of our marriage (it took a little to get used to, but we knew it would be invaluable) and I think it helped to create the wonderful marriage that we have,” said Cathy Chester of An Empowered Spirit.

Concluding the article is a group of reader’s responses to The HuffPost Post50’s request for their takes on how to have a long and happy marriage. My favorite is: “When you give to the other person, that’s love. When you take, that’s ego. Over the years, both people contribute what they have. … I’ve been married 32 years, and my promise in being with my wife is that I am committed to helping her find everything she needs. If she has a need/problem, it’s mine too. The value of marriage isn’t solely playing a part so much as my wife accepts all my love and I get to be that guy I most like being, her lover.”

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http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/04/16/marriage-advice_n_5133153.html?ir=Fifty&utm_campaign=041614&utm_medium=email&utm_source=Alert-fifty&utm_content=Photo 

 

Architecture For A Happy Marriage

non-vday-staircaseToday my daughter pointed this article out to me, “How To Pick Your Life Partner,” in the Wait But Why post. Having read a lot of such articles, starting as a teenager with dating advice in Glamour Magazine, I was pleasantly surprised to have been enchanted with this one. It’s pretty obviously written by a male with its no-nonsense approach to the topic of how to choose a partner and then create a happy marriage. So, I could not resist checking out the author.

Tim Urban shares some of his attributes with us: “getting called an out-of-touch Baby Boomer even though he’s only 31,”not being an expert on things he writes about” and “drawing stick figures at a 2nd grade level.” As a real Baby Boomer who was impressed with his cogent account of the trip from first date to the altar and many years down the road of wedded bliss after, I had to research further.

Lorena O’Neil wrote “Wait But Why: Making Nerdiness Viral,” in NPR AS HEARD ON NPR LISTEN ONLINEa description of the blog which helped me to understand why this 31 year old guy could put such brilliant perspective into the marriage topic. Wait But Why is a blog that works as an adult science and social studies classroom. The website pairs cartoons, infographics, lists, and irreverent, conversational writing for a mix that looks like BuzzFeed meets Hyperbole and a Half meets Thought Catalog. The act of reading the posts is an experience in and of itself. You can easily curl up for 20 minutes digging into a single post with all of its drawings, data visualizations and captions. Don’t let the crude, seemingly haphazardly drawn stick-figure images and basic layout of the site fool you — it’s full of insights and skillful explanations of real-life situations. Sometimes the best way to make a complex idea click is with a really basic drawing, a super-simple pie chart or a stack of candies sized up against Earth.” 

Read more: Wait But Why: Making Nerdiness Viral | Good Sh*t | OZY

Enjoy Parts 1 & 2 of “How To Pick Your Life Partner” here:

http://waitbutwhy.com/2014/02/pick-life-partner.html